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Oh my god, you guys. The most epic Fear Street so far. I tore through this in about an hour, from 9:30 to 10:30. Wow.Moral of the Story: RL Stine is a fucking badass.Gaping Plot Holes: Who the fuck cares? This one is amazeballs.Body Count: 1 : Jason, Sydneys boyfriendUsual Suspect(s): JasonActual Suspect(s): I cant spoil it here this time!! Read on below.Plot: Meet Sydney and Emma. They are best friends who work at a movie theater. I dont know if RL Stine has ever worked at a movie theater, but the description was very accurate. You smell like popcorn, you deal with screaming kids, and you have to take out gobs of gross trash into creepy alleyways. This was all in the first three pages. As they are putting the trash in the dumpster, Sydneys family heirloom bracelet gets caught on a bag and falls into the trashcan. She proceeds to rifle through the trash and bugs Emma into helping her get the bracelet back. When she finally finds it, she discovers that it is caught on a greasy duffle bag. She rescues the bracelet, which would make a really boring story UNTIL... Emma sees a dollar bill poking out of the edge of the bag. A FIFTY dollar bill.I have to back up now and tell you that Emma is poor and Sydney is rich. Well, her parents are rich. Rich enough to buy her a Miata. She works at the movie theater because her parents want her to know responsibility. Emma works at the movie theater because she has to. This isnt Sweet Valley standards of poor, mind you. After all, Emmas parents arent the town drunks, and Sydney doesnt really care whether or not Emma has tons of money. Emmas house does have cracked concrete steps, and she drives a beat-up VW, but that sounds like pretty much every broke college student that I know. Back to the plot....Emma opens the duffle bag to find wads and wads of fifty dollar bills. Almost 100,000 dollars worth!! She suggests splitting the money with Sydney. Emmas mom needs knee surgery that she cant afford, and Emma desperately wants to keep all this cash. Sydney isnt so sure. What if it belongs to someone? Now, I dont know about you, but Ive never misplaced 100 grand in a dumpster. Perhaps it belongs to the Mafia, and they thought they could throw someone off by hiding it in a dumpster? Read on. It gets better.Sydney suggests they hide the money for two weeks and if no one claims it then the money is theirs. She and Emma bury it in Fear Street Woods under a tree they used to gossip around when they were younger. Sydney doesnt want to think about the money, though Emma loves to talk about it nonstop. When Sydney gets home she runs into her boyfriend, Jason. Shes a terrible liar and doesnt want to tell him about the money and where shes been, but when he accuses her of being out with another guy, she knows that shell have to tell him the whole truth.As in a lot of other Fear Street books, as soon as Sydney tells Jason about the money he jokes about killing Emma so he and Syd can split it. Sydneys pretty loyal though, so she doesnt like all this talk of killing her best friend. However, Jason and Emma have never gotten along. Emma didnt want Sydney to tell anyone about the money. She has a point. Its like telling someone youve found the fountain of youth. Chaos! Anarchy!The next day Emma falls down the stairs at school. Right as she is falling Sydney sees Jason at the top of the steps, and his mouth is twisted... into a smile? Emma thinks so. When she comes to in the hospital she tells Sydney that Jason pushed her, but of course he denies it when Sydney confronts him. He claims that he fell into the banister by accident. Emma makes Sydney confess that she told Jason about the money. What does this have to do with anything? Clearly, Jason now wants a slice of the 100 grand pie as well. Hes more on Emmas level in terms of monetary funds or lack thereof. Emma thinks that Jason wants the money so bad he will stop at nothing to kill her so that he can have half. Sydney tries to convince Emma that she is being ridiculous.Sydney suggests that Jason try and get along with Emma and make up with her. Turns out that Emmas junk car needs fixing, and Jason offers to help. Sydney is glad they are trying to make amends. Emma invites her over the next day to window shop for everything they want to buy. Sydney doesnt really want to go, but shes glad that Emma is feeling better, so she agrees to come over. They plan to test out Emmas car now that Jason has fixed it.Just as shes about to leave, Sydney gets a call from Jason. He wants to hang out, but she tells him that she is on her way to Emmas to head to the mall in Emmas car. Jason starts acting weird about this. He doesnt understand why they have to take EMMAS car when they usually take Sydneys. Syd ignores him and heads over to Emmas anyway. As they head to the mall, everything seems to be running fine. They start up a hill, but as they come down Emma finds herself unable to use the breaks. Oops. They narrowly miss careening into a van.Breathless and frightened, Emma gets out to see what is wrong with her car. She shows Sydney that the brake lines have been cut. Now theres no denying that Jason might have an agenda. Sydney wants to go the police, but Emma doesnt wish to part with 50 grand. I cannot say I blame her. Emma says the only thing to do is kill Jason. Sydney is sick of all this talk of killing each other, and she comes up with another plan. Instead of killing Jason they are going to give him a piece of the action. Theyll split the money three ways and give Jason 33 grand. That math seems a bit off... Oh wait, its totally not! I just did it on my Dashboard calculator... wow. I really suck at math. I guess I was thinking 100 grand divided by FOUR. Thank god Im an English major. Though still shaken about the cut brake lines, they invite Jason over that night to let him know the plan. He pulls an innocent face and swears up and down that the brakes were fine when he tested them earlier. Whatever. They know they have to give him the money or else hell keep trying to kill them. Jason is so excited about the news that he wants to go to Fear Street Woods and see the money right then, at night! The girls reluctantly agree. They get to the secret spot and start digging, but Syd is really cold and says she has to go back to the car for a sweater. This begs the question of why she wouldnt be wearing one already, but I was so proud of RL Stine at the end of this book that I cant find too much to snark. As Syds walking away she hears Emma scream. She turns around to find Emma and Jason locked in a battle over the shovel. They keep fighting until Sydney yells at them to stop. As soon as Jason hears her voice, he turns around. Emma gets ahold of the shovel and POW! She knocks Jason out. Actually, the blow kills him. Sydney runs over and Emma pronounces him dead. Syd is freaking the freak out at this point, but Emma insists that killing Jason was her fault, so shell be the one to bury him. She decides to sink him in Fear Street lake, because no one will find him for weeks. Yes, and when they DO find him...??Emma is having trouble getting him to actually sink, however, and, frantic, she runs back to Sydney and asks for her red belt. Seriously? A red belt is going to sink a teenage dude? Okay. Whatever you say, RL Stine. With that out of the way, Emma and Syd head home. Sydney is actually concerned that they are, you know, murderers, but Emma isnt letting herself get too caught up with it. Hmm, Emma. Youre starting to smell a little fishy from that lake. Sydney thought she heard two people talking in the woods before Emma came back from sinking Jason, but shes not sure of anything anymore.Now that she is a murderer (or murderer accomplice, not that the police care about the minor difference), Sydney starts to lose what is left of her mind. She wakes up the morning after to find muddy footprints at the foot of her bed. This after she had a nightmare that Jason was in her room covered in swamp gunk and rotting. (I dont think hed be rotting this soon, but whatevs). Then she finds his class ring in an envelope in her locker, which she SWORE she saw him wearing the night before... or did she? When she and Emma walk out to the Miata, Sydney gasps as she sees the bloody and muddy shovel used to kill Jason in her car. She moves it to the trunk but still sits down where the shovel was in the drivers seat. Ew. Then Sydney starts getting notes calling her a murderer. She then realizes that she has to get her red belt back before the police find Jason and link the evidence to her rich ass.Even though its a stupid idea and creepy as hell, they go back to get Jasons body from the swamp so Syd can get her red belt back. But... Jasons body isnt there. Sydney is continuing to fall apart, while Emma continues to have explanations for everything of Jasons that Sydney has found. Syd goes home to find the RED BELT tied around the leg of her teddy bear attached with a note that says murderer in Jasons handwriting. Shes now convinced that Jason isnt dead at all, while Emma is STILL trying to convince her that he is. I was very, VERY suspicious of Emma at this point, but the ending was still better than anything I could have imagined.Emma comes over to see the red belt and the note, but they are nowhere to be found!! Emma points out that Sydney has just destroyed her room in order to find the belt and note and is suffering from a lack of sleep. But as soon as Syd wakes up she finds herself face to face with the rotting corpse of Jason. Sydney has completely lost it, only shes still convinced that shes the one in the right. We shall soon see...So, would you, dear reader, now like to know the most epic 5 page ending in all of Fear Street history? We cut to Emma and totally-not-dead Jason hanging out in the hospital where Sydney is now committed for her insanity. They are on their way out and laughing about how easy it was to dupe her. See, Emma and Jason never really hated each other. They just had to pretend to in order to keep Sydney fooled. Jason was really with Emma behind Sydneys back. But Emma never thought Sydney really deserved the money. So she and Jason plotted everything out in order to drive Sydney crazy and keep her that way. So they have now arrived at their happy ending, and they go dig up the money and head out on a shopping spree at the mall. Emma is about to be the owner of a $600 dollar jacket (what about her moms surgery?) when the salesclerk starts laughing at her. Emma is confused until he shows her the fifty dollar bill. It says UNTIED STATES OF AMERICA and has Benjamin Franklin in a backwards baseball cap. All the money that theyve just driven Sydney crazy over is fake.EPICBALLS!!!!!!!So yeah, how did they not notice the money was fake beforehand? Well, they all wanted it so much and were so crazy over it and always looked at it at night that it seems plausible that they missed the backwards baseball cap thing. I dont care about that plot hole, honestly, because that ending was so epic and banging. I love RL Stine so much. I want to marry him and rob a bank with fake money that we can cover in fake blood. And then we can write RL STINE WUZ HERE all over it. I almost dont ever want to read another Fear Street. I know theyre not all this epic. But even when the endings suck, the kills are still very imaginative, so I shall soldier on...

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